Project 52:12 | Unexpected

Our lives are so "up in the air" right now. We know we are selling our house, but after that we have no idea where we are going. I have NEVER been good at being flexible. I ALWAYS had a plan and that plan was always neatly written in my planner. I knew what was going to happen every day and how it was going to happen. Then I met Josh's family. Every time we visit we have no idea what to expect. Literally...watch us pack our bags for a weekend trip up there...you'll see shorts, pants, workout clothes, ski jackets, swimsuits...honestly, anything can happen while we are there. That stretched me beyond belief. I had to learn to be flexible. His family is now my family and I needed to respect the way that they were. This was so very hard for me, but you know what? It was the best thing that ever happened. 

If you asked me 5 years ago while Josh and I were nearing our wedding day what I thought life would be like, here would be my answer.

"Josh will have a great job. He will make lots of money to be able to take care of our family. We will own a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house in a cute little suburb in Salem, Oregon. We will have two kids, a boy and a girl. Of course we will have a little dog too! I'm driving the kids around in an Acura MDX (my dream SUV) and Josh will have his BMW. I'll be a stay at home mom. We will be in the process of adopting a little girl from China. Josh is playing soccer for his hobby. We are involved in our church (we were at a different one when we were first married). Everything will be picture perfect."

I laugh at my naive self. I don't think it was wrong to dream and have plans, but would I be happy if life had happened that way? ABSOLUTELY NOT. At this moment we can't pay our bills. We have a 2 bedroom, 1 bath house that we are currently giving up. I'm driving a car that was made the year I was in 3rd grade, it's missing a headlight from its third accident. Josh is driving a minivan that was made the year he was in 2nd grade. It's missing pretty much everything. I am a stay at home mom, but many times feel like I'm being guilt tripped for it...as if I am not working hard enough for my family. Josh is working two jobs that are both wonderful, but neither are able to give us a stable income at the moment. We realized adopting from China was out of reach (for now!), but are feeling so pulled to Ethiopia. Sadly, we are unable to adopt with our financial issues so adopting is totally out of reach at this time. We are involved in a new church that we absolutely LOVE and can't get enough of. And we have NO IDEA where we are going to live or how often we will have to move over the next couple of years. I have renamed us the Gypsies. I have the feeling it's going to be fitting.

Can I tell you something though? I'm the happiest I've ever been. The things of this Earth are so unsatisfying to me. I love beautiful houses, but will a beautiful house make me happy? Not really. The thing is there are people that are hurting so much more than we are. They live under bridges, they don't have clean water to drink, they don't have shoes on their feet. Lately, our hearts have been breaking for the people of Ethiopia. We are starting to realize that while adoption is not a possibility for us at this time, helping the people of Ethiopia is. We aren't sure what that means, but we know we are ready for whatever it is God is going to throw our way. 

I know this became a novel simply from a Project 52 post, but this is real and it is raw and it is what needed to be written. Project 52 has become so much more than just a chance to challenge my photography...it is challenging me as a person, a wife, a mom, a friend, a daughter...this is not what I signed up for and yet it's the best thing for me right now. 

Thanks for coming along on this adventure. As God gives us direction, we'll fill you in, but for now we are just standing at the ready, waiting for our next adventure!

For more Project 52 goodness, check out these fine blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina, Wicked Kate, The Mog Blog, Dana Moran Photography

Let me know if you want to join in on the fun! It's never too late to start your Project 52 :)

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Birthday. Fail.

But not a birthday fail.

Photo by KC Photography - Addition of a pretty crown done by ME

Happy 4th birthday (well, yesterday...I started this post, but decided to sleep instead) to the greatest pup we know! Sadly, in doggy years she is now officially older than me. YIKES!

Now, about the fail. So, let's start with a photo of Eden's room all pulled together with a beautiful flokati rug. 

I was so proud of that find. We bought it at HomeGoods, $40 a piece (we bought two for a grand total of $80). 

A month into owning it I started to feel a little less proud of my find. A couple more months and Josh was begging me to toss it out the window as fast as my little arms would let me. Being the stubborn woman I am I waved my hand at him and said, "pish posh" continued on in my denial. 

Now, a year later, I finally hung my head in shame and admitted defeat. The rug is gone. Amazingly I felt this ginormous weight lifted off of my shoulders once it was gone...and once I had vacuumed the whole entire house, top to bottom, back to front, forward, sideways, and every which way in between. See, the reason this rug was so beyond horrible was because it shed. Like a dog. But MAJOR. In fact, we picked Bella for her almost zero shed factor, so why wouldn't we do the same when choosing a rug? Want proof?

Hint: Look at the giant wad of fluff to the right of Bella's head. Yep. That's the one. This was from walking across her rug ONCE to go get her from her crib.

This is a photo I took when Eden was a wee itty bitty baby. I was taking the photo to document the sisterly love, but thanks to a wonderful and honest friend who shall not be named (MEGAN WARD) my secret came to light. See, whenever someone would want to "drop by" I went into panic mode. Literally. Toys? I can throw them in a basket. Clothes? I can hide them in the closet, under the bed, in the hamper. Dishes? That's easy...throw them in the dishwasher...and so on. But big giant people eating dust bunnies?! This required a very tedious date with a vacuum and I most certainly could not do it before my dear friends would drop by. I really honestly like people to believe I am a very clean and organized girl (whether or not I actually am is up for debate). This rug was cause for concern. I saw it in all of your eyes. You would look down and see those feet eating monsters and you would get that look in your eye. You didn't mean to I'm sure, but it was there. That look of pure horror. It's like you wanted to say, "OH HONEY YOU NEED PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP IN A BAD WAY!"

Don't worry, I didn't take it personally.

So, yeah...just wanted to admit that I failed. It happens a lot. I'm just hoping I could look back on this and laugh some day. The good news is I no longer need to clog up the vacuum with big white bunnies and I don't have to fear for my child's life every time she grabs a fur ball and sticks it down her throat.

Now time to find my poor girl a new rug for her hard floor. Rugs really do pull a room together in the nicest way.

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I'm a Big Kid Now

Happy 3rd birthday to our beautiful, sleepy head, hot dog loving, firstborn princess!!

We may have a little bun in the oven, but this little girl will always be the first child in our lives. Hey, she is not just a dog! We have actually been preparing her for the arrival of her little sister and so far she is handling it like a champ. Granted, Eden is not here yet so we will see what she does then. So far we are just letting her explore Eden's room, and let her sniff every item that comes into the house that's for baby. The hardest part is teaching her that Eden's toys are not for her. Poor Bella has had to learn quite quickly how to adjust to her mommy's ever growing belly. Either way we hope the transition to having a baby around will be easy on all of us, including our little princess. 

(Technically Bella's birthday was yesterday, but I was unable to get on to post this. Also, we know that we are obsessed with our dog and that it might seem a bit unhealthy, but that's just how we like it.)

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Bachelor Update: Number Five

Well, Bella's time on the dog version of the Bachelor lasted for awhile, but it has ended. Sadly, when Burger cut the competition from 5 to 2 glamorous pups, Bella did not make it through. It was a great time for all of us and we had tons of fun. We still think Bella is the greatest thing to have ever walked this earth. I mean honestly she is #1 in our book. Guess thats what happens when your dog is your firstborn. When we do have a child of our own I hope that child doesn't feel too left out, hopefully we can love them both the same. Hopefully.

Just for fun, here are some photos of Bella.

 

Good luck to the finalists, Juno and Nico, you are both great pups!! 

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Bachelor Update: Number Four

I am a day late in posting this, but our nights have been filling up fast. We recently started attending a new church and we are realizing how important it is to be in a place where fellowship is valued. That being said, I have excuses as to why I have been slacking in the blogging department, but I will not use anymore of them. On to the most important part...did Bella make it another week?

She sure did! This girl is lighting Burger's fire which makes us oh so very proud. The competition is now down to the final 5 and it sure is a nail biter. While we know that Bella is a perfect pup who is oh so made for Burger, others dont know that so we have to work hard to prove that each week. You can see her response to this weeks question by visiting Hamburger's House. As always, we will share a picture of our beautiful girl in all her finest...hmmm does that work for dogs since they technically don't wear clothes?

As always, keep your paws crossed for this sexy beast!!

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Oh House Beautiful, how did I ever live without you? I have honestly fallen head over heels in love with House Beautiful magazine (sorry babe, you just can't compare). I received their latest issue today and honestly I think it might be my favorite yet. It was eye candy on steroids. One thing I really loved about the December issue was the fact that they interviewed a lot of designers asking them what they expected the newest trends to be. Now, I am certainly not ahead of the trends most of the time. I would say I take a moment to warm up to the newest trends to see if they have staying power, and then once I deem them worthy I jump in with both feet.  The reason why I loved this part of the issue so much was because multiple designers predicted that gray was the new beige. If you looked at the mood board I posted of our living room you will see that gray is a color that I LOVE. If you saw mood boards for the rest of the rooms you would really understand that I have a sickness. I am okay with it. Here are a few photos I quickly fell in love with on House Beautiful's site.

 

Anyone else see a white theme here? Oh how I love the cleanliness of it all...

Have a great weekend!

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Our Little Bachelorette

Bella did it! She is one of the 17 finalists (down from 24) in the dog version of the Bachelor. We are all getting more and more anxious about this whole thing. The competition is fierce (a la Tyra Banks) and there is a lot of love for a certain MinPin. Thankfully we feel confident that our Bella is a star and that her and Burger are destined for great things. We are continually crossing our fingers (and paws) as the competition gets more and more intense.

Please keep crossing your paws for our little squirrel!

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Now for some serious eye candy...

Seriously? I LOVE this room. The black, white, and then the pops of yellow...ADORE. I think that I wouldn't mind coming home to this everyday.

Some more black and white yumminess...and look at that beautiful natural greenery.

I. Want. That. Ceiling. The End.

I have been in love with the beauty of these chairs. I have seen them popping up everywhere and I want some for my house. Maybe a birthday present? Honey are you listening?!

Ok I need to stop dreaming and remember that currently we are living in 800 sq. feet of yellowish white walls until owning a home becomes a reality. Until that day comes I am just designing the house in my head.

All images courtesy of Canadian House & Home

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Trick or Treat

Happy Halloween!!

We had a few photos that we had to post for today. It's Halloween and we have certainly been getting in the spirit...

Mummy Dogs

Bellakin...or a Bella pumpkin

The hot dog dressed as a hot dog...and she even tried to eat it!

Now go and eat lots of candy, its the one day where it is totally allowed. Over here at the Crain household we are listening to Christmas music to celebrate (try c.d.'s for $1 at Target) and then headed to a Halloween party.

Trick or Treat!

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Safety First

The Bachelor Update: 
Fun news! Burger a.k.a The Bachelor left a comment for Bella on the last post! HOORAY! Let me tell you, Bella was dancing all over the place when we read it to her. Yes, my dog can read...but it was much more fun to read it to her as we all danced around in excitement. Ok, well the dancing was semi hilarious considering my stomach and throat were in a whole lot of pain after my whole experience at the hospital and Josh came down with the flu...but it was dancing nonetheless. Anyway, the latest is that there were over 100 submissions and Burger is picking the semi-finalists this week. Keep your fingers...or paws..crossed!!

On to regularly scheduled programming:
So not to be a totally crazy stalker or anything, but the rest of this post also has a bit to do with Young House Love. Yes, I love their blog...and yes I do believe they should be an inspiration to you all as well. Well, let me move on to what I was trying to say and then explain what they have to do with it.

Livearth.org

Joshua and I have been striving to be "green" since we got married. Once we have our house we hope to add in a lot of great eco-friendly elements that should help the earth along with our pockets. We would LOVE to do compost since it is a great way to use up all of our scraps and yard clippings and it also means great nutrient rich soil for the vegetable and fruit garden that I have already been planning. Since we do not have our house yet we have been implementing other things in our daily lives. The biggest one is household chemicals and cleaners. We have slowly been making the switch to "green" cleaners and it has definitely been trial and error. Most people know I can be what they call a GERMIPHOBE. Yes, I admit it and I am gosh darn proud of it. However, a lot of the items that disinfect are the most toxic chemicals in our house (i.e. bleach). This has been our biggest struggle as I try to find something that cleans well, but also gets rid of the flu and cold germs that lurk around our house during this time of year. Even so, we had already made it a personal goal to rid ourselves of all toxic chemicals before we started our family. Babies are a big deal to us and once we are ready to have our own we want to make sure our house is as safe as we are able to make it. We realize how many things are out there that we can't shield our baby from, that's what our Father is for, BUT there are things we can do to help. So, we started scratching our heads to try to figure out what to do about this problem. I didn't mind making up my own cleaners, especially since it would save us money, but most of the items that people would list were things I had never heard of. That bothered me.

Enter Young House Love. Today they featured a smart guy who really knew his stuff about going green. He had great recipes for creating your own cleaners...out of stuff I actually knew! Amazing I know. We plan to start trying stuff out (once we have used up the brand new bottle of cleaner we picked up at the store) and we will let you know what we think. Maybe it will work and maybe it won't, but we can't let this one pass us up! Good luck to those of you out there who try it!

XoXo,
J&M

P.S. This is our favorite way to get our dishes clean without being unsafe for our bodies. It is available at Target. Please note that the packaging has now changed and it is now in a resealable bag. 

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