35 Weeks | Almost Done!

I just cannot believe we are at exactly one month until our C-section date. I also cannot believe that technically he can be here ANY DAY. I go back and forth on being ready, but for now I feel very ready for him to come. Although tomorrow I might get nervous again about the reality of it all.

I lost my nesting drive last week and it drove me crazy. I had ZERO energy. May have also had something to do with my low iron levels. I'm back to my normal insane nesting self and I feel so much more normal. We needed to get a lot accomplished...not much that was baby related necessarily, but trying to get the rest of our boxes purged, sorted, and re-packed. I know packing with a newborn won't be fun, so we are trying to be ahead of the game for whenever that day comes. I am loving clearing out all of our stuff. It has been so refreshing and I think will help me stay relaxed a little more with two kids. Currently our lives are a BIT on the crazy side (that's an extreme exaggeration) so any sort of calm during the chaos is welcomed with open arms. 

Eden is getting so excited about her baby brother. Whenever I doubt that she fully understands, she ends up amazing us with her comprehension. She practices putting brother to sleep in his bouncer (she also practices putting herself to sleep in there...). One unfortunate event is the amount of times we find her sneaking into Israel's crib. The girl is going to smother that baby. She is a sneaky one. 

Either way, we are ready. And even if we weren't, we better be. I had braxton hicks contractions with Eden, but what I am experiencing with him is something completely different. These hurt. Like, stop and breath through them painful. I get them at all sorts of times, but a lot when I am walking and a lot in the middle of the night. It's okay, sleep is non-existent anyway. I have to pee every five minutes. It is obnoxious. Good thing I am someone who works just fine without sleep. The only complaints I have right now are mostly just dealing with my back...and wearing clothes. My back is in pain non-stop and clothes just exaggerate the pain. Otherwise, this pregnancy has been so much better than I expected and I am so thankful for a mostly drama free last pregnancy. 

Hopefully I'll get to update one more time before the little man makes his debut!

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The Great Organize and Purge: Games

You guys. Getting rid of stuff is addicting. Like honestly, don't start if you actually want to stop. Sure, there are times where I get to a complete stand still and feel unmotivated, but then once that motivation comes back. Oh boy, watch out. I become a complete mad woman once I get into purging mode. The other night, Eden went down extraordinarily early (never happens) and the wise thing to do would have been for me to follow her lead. Ask Josh if that happens (answer: never). So, in one of my crazy rampages I decided the board games must be dealt with.

Our board game collection is not very large by most standards. The sadder part to that is...we haven't even used them more than once in over five years of marriage. They have all been stacked up in closets where pulling one out meant having the rest topple out onto your head. Not ideal and definitely not something I looked forward to. So, they sat. And sat. And sat some more. Since moving into my parent's house, they have been housed in an Ikea bag way up high to where no one could reach them. I had known I was over the whole cardboard box thing since most were falling apart or just large and annoying, but hadn't done anything about it. I knew changing our current system could only result in good things so I went for it. This isn't magazine worthy by any means, but I'm posting it in hopes that it will help someone out there get motivated to look at a system in their house that isn't working, and change it. 

I started off by pulling each game out of its box, which resulted in a giant stack of cardboard. 

Excuse the phone photos. I've turned lazy and no longer use my big girl camera for projects. 

I thought taking the games out of their boxes would be painful. I am so weird about stuff like that. But nope, it felt great. One box literally was so huge and all it held was a small game board and a handful of marbles...the rest of the box was filled with a filler piece of cardboard. Seriously?! What a waste of space. 

Once I had the games out, I put all the small pieces into snack sized baggies. I then put all of the small bags of parts with the game rules and any larger items from the game into a gallon size baggie. I used a permanent marker to indicate what the game was and moved on to the next game. 

Can you believe that the giant stack of cardboard boxes resulted in such a small pile of game materials? It felt so relieving. At this point I was left with a few large game boards and a stack of plastic bags filled with games. I knew we had an extra basket that we had from Ikea in our living room and I knew it would be a great spot to store the games for now. The game boards that didn't fit into the basket are living in our ottoman so we can grab them out as needed. 

Sweet relief. The games are now easily accessible and hardly take up any room. I love knowing that when we move the amount of space the games will take up in a box is so minimal. I'm all for an easier move. So, I know it's not the prettiest sight. I do have plans to add cute labels to the bags and the game boards, but for now, it works. The goal was to only use what I had on hand to make this work, and I am proud to say I didn't spend a penny. It was such a quick project and I am so happy with the results.

Here's to more family game nights! 

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The Big Three Zero

I decided my favorite thing about being pregnant is the nesting. Wow, do I ever get a lot accomplished during this nesting phase. It's my favorite. I have organized every corner of every room we have (which is only 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, and a living room), but I am excited. I get rid of everything and I clean everything and it feels amazing. I hear adopting mama's nest today and I sure hope that's true because my best work happens when babies are coming...otherwise our house will be perpetually messy after Israel is born (yeah that is going to happen no matter what I do). 

The bad news in pregnancy? My hormones are off the wall insane. I don't feel like myself. I find myself totally losing my cool over the craziest little things. Granted, there is a lot of stress in our lives at the moment, but seriously I do not like the way I am acting. I am getting up every morning and spending some time in God's word to try to help shape my attitude for the day. The fact that my crazy nesting keeps me awake until ridiculous hours of the night probably isn't helping me at all. I am overwhelmed, but that is no excuse for attacking my loved ones so much these last couple of weeks. 

I just want Israel to be here.

32 weeks pregnant means 7 weeks or less until this baby arrives. Yes, I am very late in posting this 30 week update, but you expected that right? Crazy that I'll only be posting 2 more updates I would guess before the little stud makes his debut. I'm starting to really think he will here sooner than the scheduled c-section date. I mean, does anyone seriously believe that I will walk in at a perfectly scheduled time and have this baby right when I expect to? If you know me you know NOTHING happens according to my perfectly planned schedule. Despite my best efforts. The good news is I am neurotic and have had the infant car seat cleaned and ready to install for weeks (yes I kept myself from installing it), his bassinet and crib are ready, the hospital bags MIGHT already have some items in it, his clothes are cleaned and put away..I mean seriously, he could come today (please don't buddy...it's not safe) and we would be more than ready. Okay, obviously I still have a giant list of things I would love to do, but hey, a baby trumps the perfect organized house any day. 

Oh, and Saturday was my baby shower! It was so beyond perfect. Can't wait to share more details! 

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Blessed Beyond Measure

Music has always had a great impact on my life. If you were to look at what I'm listening to you could pretty much gather where I am at in life. Music moves me. It inspires me.

One song meant more to me yesterday than it ever has. 

I have heard Laura Story's "Blessings" many times before, but I never FELT it. It is a beautiful song, but it just did not have that strong impact on my life like so many other songs do. Yesterday, it came on and I was a weeping mess. I heard it was a song to cry to, but it takes a lot to move me to tears. I like to think I am strong (I am not). Anyway, if you need to remember the love God has for you and the blessings He has given you, listen. It is a beautiful song. 

After listening I pray you will be inspired to start a blessings jar. I had one sitting out, but had not done much with it until yesterday. A blessings jar is simply that...a jar that you can fill with your blessings. I have little pieces of paper next to the jar for us to write the great things God has done for us. I saw an idea like this on Pinterest and the idea there is to read them at the end of the year. I think we will probably read them more often, as needed. On those days where I am having trouble seeing the blessings. It is such a great reminder of the things God is doing in our lives. Trust me, if you are having trouble seeing the light through the darkness today, start writing down all the things you are grateful for and all the blessings that God has given you. It may take awhile to think of things, but once you start, they will keep flowing. Our God is gracious and has blessed you much more than you can ever imagine. Let Him bless you today. 

"Blessings"

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

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Bright Hope For Tomorrow

This stage in our lives has me reflecting a lot. Reflecting on all that God has done and all that God will do in our lives. To say that we have dealt with our fair share of struggles financially is an understatement, but oh how He has always blessed us. We have had so many people say things like, "that must be so hard," "I can't imagine going through what you do." But you know what? We feel like we have more than we ever have. It sounds crazy. I know. I never would have believed it myself. We may not have fancy cars (actually it's not even plural for us as we have sold all but our minivan), a house, pretty decor, nice clothes...but wow do we have a lot. We have a lot of love and devotion for each other and in turn a greater appreciation for others. 

As we have gone through all of our financial struggles we actually have found it very therapeutic to rid ourselves of the excess. This seems so counterproductive, but wow does it feel good. For the first time we are starting to feel free. Free of the burden of carrying around stuff. The stuff wasn't doing anything for us. It was taking up space, annoying to move, and didn't make us feel good. So, we have been purging our stuff for months. I told Josh, despite the fact that we have donated or sold so much I still feel like we have too much. 

A lot of times we take moments to reflect on Africa. Africa is a place our heart is broken for as we have mentioned many times before. It's a place we hope to spend time in sometime in the future (sometime soon hopefully!). It's the place we feel lead to bring home our babies from. God put that place on our hearts and man, it won't leave. I think of how many people there live in small huts with only the clothes they have on their backs. And yet, many of them will tell you they are blessed. Something we want to stay convicted of is not letting the idea of excess keep us from ministry. 

Our next move will be to a small place...I can guarantee that. In fact, even if we became millionaires tomorrow, we still want a modest house. I can't explain it, but we just don't want what we don't need. Do we really need a home with 5 bedrooms? Nope. When we were moving out o four house and talking about our next apartment we kept saying we NEED 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. There was no negotiation. Then one day Josh and I looked at each other and realized our motivation was totally off. We wanted three bedrooms because we thought more space would make it all better. And the 2nd bathroom? Because we didn't want to share a bathroom with kids and guests. REALLY?! That's not to say it's wrong to have more bedrooms and bathrooms, but for us our motivation was wrong. We want to live small so that we can give big. That's our goal. No matter what our financial situation looks like, this won't change. I love living radically. It definitely makes us a little "weird," but wasn't Jesus considered "weird" to many? We don't want to be the same as everyone else. 

All this to say, I have had the words "strength for today, bright hope for tomorrow," playing in my head repeatedly so I decided to make to make this little reminder that I can print out and have on our wall. Trust me, I am not perfect. I need strength daily to live radically. It's not easy, I don't want you to get the impression it is. But boy, does it rock your world in the best way. Try it..I guarantee you'll like it. 

Great is thy faithfulness!

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