Modeling For The Camera

Our good friend, Ashley Mogford, came over and took some photos of Israel back in April. And I am just now posting them. Let's just blame it on having two kids yeah? Also, I really need to get to work on his birth announcements. Who was the brilliant person who decided to make their own birth announcements? Hey, don't look at me...

  

Selfie by Eden

  

There are so many more I could post, but a baby is asking for my attention. That kid loves to squeal and talk and giggle and I just cannot resist it!! 

Also, I love my little family. Like a ridiculous amount. 

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Israel | 2 Months

Better late than never right? Finding time to sit down and document this little guys life seems quite hard to do. He is a bundle of fun and we tend to enjoy staring at him much more than staring at a computer. This kid fits so perfectly into our family. He definitely "shook us up" a bit, but I'm learning his needs and things are much calmer now. Turns out that eating better helped our little boy out in so many ways. I am so glad we were able to find that out. 

Here is our boy now. He was 15.6 lbs in this photo and 24 inches long.

Yeah, so I chose to take his photo when he was both tired and hungry. The sun was going down. I had no other choice. Really. Besides, I thought it captured was his first two months looked like. Thankfully since then he has been the picture of happiness. 

Here is a look back at Gus from one week to two months. 

Israel,

Oh my little Gus Gus...Guster...Gusterson. We simply adore you. I keep thinking my heart has already exploded with love for you, and yet, somehow the love just grows more and more every day. You smile and have started to babble. Your favorite place is laying naked on a flat surface. That is when you are your happiest. I think you love being able to see our faces. Your sister smothers you and you are not quite tolerant of that just yet. You will learn. Bella hasn't seemed to notice your existence. I think she gave us and realized there are most likely many more babies to come. You have started to play on your play mat and will sit in your bouncer for super short amounts of time. I love that you need to touch me all the time. I wear you in the Moby many hours every day and neither of us tire of it. In fact, you started holding your head up so well in the last month and I am going to go ahead and thank babywearing for that. You still gag on pacifiers and bottles so "eating mommy's tummy" as Eden says happens every 2 hours or less. I love having a son. It is something I never knew I would say. Each day your daddy and I get more and more excited to see you grow and learn new things. Goodness I love you so. 

Love,

Your slightly obsessed mother. 

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Israel | 1 Month

Everyone keeps asking me if the first month went fast. Honestly? I didn't feel like it did all that much. I think it helped that I got to have 2 weeks of rest with just Israel for the most part while I recovered from my c-section. I can't recommend that enough. It was a wonderful bonding experience with my new little guy and definitely what he and I needed. He is my little monkey...clinging to me always. 

 

I, Mallory Crain, did in fact give birth to that baby. Please be impressed. I call him my sumo baby. I am proud.

Israel,

You are the son we never knew we needed. The little boy who has stolen our hearts and then some. You have made your presence known in this house, that's for sure. You are a little man with a need for 24/7 snuggles. Everyone grants your wishes happily. We called you a high needs baby, but as it turns out, it was mommy's accidental caffeine intake that was causing your screaming fits. Now, we call you "Grumpy Gus" because honestly? You are one grumpy boy. If you aren't being held, while standing, and bouncing up and down, you tend to use your voice...a lot. Let's just say we were never worried about your lungs. We also find it sweet how you need that physical connection. I wear you in the Moby every day. Your big sister adores you. She also smothers you. I think you two are going to be close...or Eden will make you be her friend. You look like an identical copy of your daddy, but with a teensy bit of mommy thrown in for good measure. You have daddy's eyes, ears, skin color, height, fingers, and toes, but you have mommy's nose and look like her grandpa Ray. As for your growth? Oh dear boy, you don't stop growing! This is a shock after having your sister who struggled to stay on the charts. You have gained a pound a week since leaving the hospital and you have gotten so long. You LOVE to eat so I attribute that to your great size. Nights were extremely hard with you and you stayed awake almost the entire night every night. You dislike stimulation. Bouncers, play mats, toys...all of them make you angry. Israel John, you were the exact child God planned for our family and we are so thankful you are in our lives! You are one well loved little boy!

Love,

Mommy

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Easter 2013

Easter is by far the most important holiday to me. Not my favorite to decorate for, but that's not really what Easter is about anyway. Although I believe it is important to celebrate our Savior every day, I really appreciate having that one day to truly celebrate what He has done for us. Jesus died for me. That is huge. I do not ever want to forget what He has done for me.

This year I had to forego the usual Easter festivities and traditions so that Israel and I could continue to rest and recover at home. Josh was able to take Eden to our church's annual Easter egg hunt...which she thoroughly enjoyed. On Sunday I was able to head up the stairs (something I have only done twice since being home) and enjoy a meal with the family, egg painting with Eden, and an egg hunt on the front lawn. I missed church greatly, but was thankful for our "home church" where we played a couple videos from the Jesus Storybook Bible for Eden and then watched last year's sermon from David Platt. Speaking of him, if you want to be challenged in a major way, listen to his series on James. Each sermon was amazing. 

Now on to some photos of my sweet babies...

I seriously love these two. They confirm that I want a big family each and every day. 

Her hair kills me. 

Nothing better than my two babies out in the sunshine. 

I haven't been able to take all the photos I want of the littlest Crain due to being confined to the couch 24/7...although I have been blowing up Instagram...but I did manage to sneak a few photos after a diaper change earlier today. He changes so much each day. Oh my goodness I love this kid so much. 

Can I be honest with you all? My mama heart is struggling this week. I bonded with Israel immediately. This is all thanks to a fabulous birth experience...which has been written, I just need to finish it up and add some photos. Obviously I am thankful for this, but there is one thing that has been bothering me. I have noticed a little bit of fear creeping in. The biggest one came during his three very heavy spit up episodes where he choked and had trouble breathing. It was extremely scary each time and in fact Josh and I took turns checking on him throughout the night last night. I try to be strong and remember that Israel, while entrusted into my care, is truly God's child. And yet...I broke. I saw him struggling to breathe, and I completely lost all sense. I bawled. I have known him for 9 months in my tummy and 11 days out in the world, and yet I feel like he has been a part of me forever. I am usually pretty calm about these things, but something in me snapped. I know this is "normal," but it pains me all the same.

I am so thankful for our two babies. They both add something into our family that is unique and fun and perfect. I know there are many tough days ahead, but I do not want to lose sight of the blessings we have.

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38 Weeks | The Final Update

The very last pregnancy update is here. I am right at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant right now....I will be 39 on Thursday. The day of the scheduled c-section. I never thought I would make it to that date, and am still wondering if I will. Baby boy, you are trying hard to come out early. Ordinarily I would be just fine and dandy with that, but my doctor is out of town and we kind of sort of will have a brush with fame if he waits until Thursday. I'll give you more details on our major "famousness" (yeah I made that up) if it actually happens. Here is the thing. Last pregnancy my water broke. I never once had a contraction of my own. Had no idea what they even felt like. The doctor on call (because once again I didn't have my actual doctor) insisted we start Pitocin to reduce the likelihood of infection. I finally agreed. Pitocin contractions are the only  contractions I ever knew and I thought I would never know what "real" ones felt like since this time our baby would be born through a c-section. No need for contractions there. Ha. Ha. and HA. I have had contractions for the past month, and very strong ones I might add. Fast forward to two days ago and if I even moved I would have one. Yesterday, I put myself on bed rest knowing my doctor was out of town. I refused to time contractions until later in the night... they were 2-4 minutes apart, all lasting for a minute or so each. No one thought I would make it through the night, but thankfully, I did. The contractions kept coming all night and were pretty intense in the morning, but somehow they just died down the rest of the day. Not that they are non-existent, but I'm less worried about him coming at the moment. Honestly, if it weren't for my horribly awful experience last time that lead me to my new doctor, I would be up and walking around trying to get labor started. Sadly, due to that awful experience, I am a bit on the worried side when it comes to having a different doctor. I think it is valid. I totally know God has this in His hands so if Israel comes early I will be more than excited. I keep picturing what his little face will look like.

Oh and in ever dramatic Mallory fashion, I may have taken a trip to the hospital once already. At 37 weeks. I peed my pants. Don't ask.

I have loved being pregnant with friends. I don't want to forget that my friend Sarah and I have our c-section scheduled for the same morning. Yes, we live in two different states, but it has been fun to have that to look forward to together. Now we are both excited to see which baby comes first! I also have a friend who is being induced the day after my surgery, by the same doctor, which means we will be hospital buddies! I am so determined to have a better experience this time that I truly believe I am going to be able to get up and move around and go meet her baby girl. And, probably the most special thing I want to remember is that Israel shares the same due date as his little "cousin," Hayley. Ruby and I were both due on March 28th. Ironically, I'll be having him a week early and she had Hayley almost a week late. They won't share birthdays, but just having shared that date seems pretty special to me. 

I just cannot believe the time is here. All the planning, worrying, excitement...it all comes down to one day. Soon enough I know I will look back and wonder what life was like without our little boy even though right now I can't figure out what life will be like with him. More chaotic for sure, and yet, so much more wonderful. That I am sure of. 

Just for fun, I also want to make sure to remember some guesses we have about our little man. Eden guessed that he will have pink eyes. Let's hope she is wrong on that one. For some reason I have always pictured him as having dark hair and dark eyes. I don't know if that is because in my family I was the blondie when EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON in my family has black hair or what. It is just what I picture. I also think of him as having more of my brother's personality. Laid back, but still great at bugging his sister. He may end up being more of a class clown like Josh, so we will see. Eden uses up so much energy that I am not sure if we can have two highly energetic kids around. Thankfully Bella sleeps for all of us. As for size, Josh and I both feel pretty confident he will be in the upper 6 pound range. Maybe 6 lbs 10 ounces? We will see soon enough!

Alright....next time I blog about the baby it should be a picture of him!!!!! 

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Israel's Baby Shower

And once again, I am so blessed by my friends and family. I was most certainly not expecting a baby shower for the second baby, let alone such a large one, but wow am I so thankful! It was a perfect event pulled off perfectly by two very important people in my life, Ruby and Kirsten. They did a fantastic job making it the perfect day that fit my personality exactly. I actually knew nothing about the shower. The only thing I asked of the girls was that they make it as stress free on themselves as possible. I don't think they listened, but hey, I tried. Either way, I had so much fun and have so many great memories from that day. I didn't get many photos..and definitely not any good quality ones. I tried to snap as many as possible, but in the end, decided having conversations with all those I treasure was much more important. So, sorry for the quality, but you'll get the idea. 

I'll have to post photos of the blocks once I get them. This was such a cute activity! I'm not a girl who likes games, so this was perfectly perfect. Each guest made a block and they all turned out so cute and unique. Seriously, I can't wait to get a closer look of them!

And um hi, that view?! I would never grow tired of that view. I take photos each time I visit this location...I cannot get enough.

Ruby. Me. Kirsten. Love those two more than they will probably ever realize. So thankful for their friendship and the fact that I am able to be so real with them. Seriously, they haven't given up on me yet despite the fact that they get to experience just how crazy I really am. 

Despite the shower being right in the middle of Eden's nap time, I couldn't imagine her not being there. She had so much fun, despite the few meltdowns at the end.

Eden LOVES her Uncle Brett. As you can tell, she has a whole lot of fun with him. This was the most serious photo we could get of the three of us. The dirty knee is an indicator of just how much fun she had...

First pair of Jordan's, lovingly given by Uncle Brett and Aunt Stephanie. Perks of Nike employees. I can't wait to put these on Israel's little feet.

I have extremely talented friends. If you want the CUTEST baby things ever check out East&El. Ashley is amazing. 

Oh and best surprise of all? Our stroller! A bunch of friends and family went in on our double stroller and ended up also gifting us with the carseat attachment AND the rocker for our bassinet. Blessed. That's what I am. Don't worry, I'll post photos of the stroller as soon as we can take our little man out for some strolls! We did take Eden on a test drive, and yep...we are in love. The bassinet stand is happily sitting next to our bed, waiting to be occupied by a teeny tiny baby. Hurry it up little man! 

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35 Weeks | Almost Done!

I just cannot believe we are at exactly one month until our C-section date. I also cannot believe that technically he can be here ANY DAY. I go back and forth on being ready, but for now I feel very ready for him to come. Although tomorrow I might get nervous again about the reality of it all.

I lost my nesting drive last week and it drove me crazy. I had ZERO energy. May have also had something to do with my low iron levels. I'm back to my normal insane nesting self and I feel so much more normal. We needed to get a lot accomplished...not much that was baby related necessarily, but trying to get the rest of our boxes purged, sorted, and re-packed. I know packing with a newborn won't be fun, so we are trying to be ahead of the game for whenever that day comes. I am loving clearing out all of our stuff. It has been so refreshing and I think will help me stay relaxed a little more with two kids. Currently our lives are a BIT on the crazy side (that's an extreme exaggeration) so any sort of calm during the chaos is welcomed with open arms. 

Eden is getting so excited about her baby brother. Whenever I doubt that she fully understands, she ends up amazing us with her comprehension. She practices putting brother to sleep in his bouncer (she also practices putting herself to sleep in there...). One unfortunate event is the amount of times we find her sneaking into Israel's crib. The girl is going to smother that baby. She is a sneaky one. 

Either way, we are ready. And even if we weren't, we better be. I had braxton hicks contractions with Eden, but what I am experiencing with him is something completely different. These hurt. Like, stop and breath through them painful. I get them at all sorts of times, but a lot when I am walking and a lot in the middle of the night. It's okay, sleep is non-existent anyway. I have to pee every five minutes. It is obnoxious. Good thing I am someone who works just fine without sleep. The only complaints I have right now are mostly just dealing with my back...and wearing clothes. My back is in pain non-stop and clothes just exaggerate the pain. Otherwise, this pregnancy has been so much better than I expected and I am so thankful for a mostly drama free last pregnancy. 

Hopefully I'll get to update one more time before the little man makes his debut!

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The Big Three Zero

I decided my favorite thing about being pregnant is the nesting. Wow, do I ever get a lot accomplished during this nesting phase. It's my favorite. I have organized every corner of every room we have (which is only 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, and a living room), but I am excited. I get rid of everything and I clean everything and it feels amazing. I hear adopting mama's nest today and I sure hope that's true because my best work happens when babies are coming...otherwise our house will be perpetually messy after Israel is born (yeah that is going to happen no matter what I do). 

The bad news in pregnancy? My hormones are off the wall insane. I don't feel like myself. I find myself totally losing my cool over the craziest little things. Granted, there is a lot of stress in our lives at the moment, but seriously I do not like the way I am acting. I am getting up every morning and spending some time in God's word to try to help shape my attitude for the day. The fact that my crazy nesting keeps me awake until ridiculous hours of the night probably isn't helping me at all. I am overwhelmed, but that is no excuse for attacking my loved ones so much these last couple of weeks. 

I just want Israel to be here.

32 weeks pregnant means 7 weeks or less until this baby arrives. Yes, I am very late in posting this 30 week update, but you expected that right? Crazy that I'll only be posting 2 more updates I would guess before the little stud makes his debut. I'm starting to really think he will here sooner than the scheduled c-section date. I mean, does anyone seriously believe that I will walk in at a perfectly scheduled time and have this baby right when I expect to? If you know me you know NOTHING happens according to my perfectly planned schedule. Despite my best efforts. The good news is I am neurotic and have had the infant car seat cleaned and ready to install for weeks (yes I kept myself from installing it), his bassinet and crib are ready, the hospital bags MIGHT already have some items in it, his clothes are cleaned and put away..I mean seriously, he could come today (please don't buddy...it's not safe) and we would be more than ready. Okay, obviously I still have a giant list of things I would love to do, but hey, a baby trumps the perfect organized house any day. 

Oh, and Saturday was my baby shower! It was so beyond perfect. Can't wait to share more details! 

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Rock The Bump

So, it's time for me to give up on ever seeing my photos from my old computer again (sorry 5 week photo) and move on. I mean seriously...the baby will be here in just over 2 months and I haven't posted any bump photos. I've been documenting this pregnancy, just haven't put them out for the rest of the world.

This pregnancy we decided to do a photo every 5 weeks. Sadly, I missed week 25, but instead of throwing a fit, we just documented week 28. No harm done. For Eden I did updates for almost every doctor appointment, but now I feel like there's not much to say. Israel is growing the way he should and this pregnancy has been relatively easy for me. I am okay with that. 

Last Friday we had an appointment with our doctor. The appointment where you get poked and prodded like crazy...you know the one. Peeing in a cup (my new doctor doesn't make you do them until week 28! Love that), glucose test (more on that later), Rhogam shot (for those of us who are RH-), blood work, and then a culture of an infection I have had for a month and a half. I felt violated. Other than that, so far everything looks great!

I really want to do a post on having a natural pregnancy. I am very passionate about it and have been able to reap the benefits of a much easier pregnancy which I think is due to the choices I made before getting pregnant and during pregnancy. One of those choices happens to be my rejection of the glucose drink. Yep, I said no to the chemical filled sugary substance we all know and love :::insert sarcasm::: I'll explain why I chose to reject it and what I did instead when I write more about having a natural pregnancy...because let's face it..there's a whole lot of babies coming into the world lately. 

Now time to show off my ever growing giganticness. Don't worry, I'm totally cool with it. I like that he is growing big and strong in there. Even if it hurts. A lot. The days of peeing every 10 minutes is upon me. 

And..I just realized that more of my photos were on my old computer. FAIL. Deep frustration happening over here. I'll just have to add those later on I suppose. And wow, what a difference 8 weeks made for that boy. No wonder I am uncomfortable and can't reach my feet. Maybe I should mention that I'm too cheap to buy maternity pants so I squeeze myself into unbuttoned and unzipped jeans and want to cry by the end of the day? Yep. Even if I would spend the money, they just don't make my size. Such is the life of a small person I suppose. And whoa. The hair. Someone find me some scissors and chop it off. I mentioned heading to Great Clips the other day, but I hear their prices aren't that great. Um....seriously?! Josh may be cutting my mangy hair off. 

Let me not forget the most important thing. Our c-section was officially scheduled! I'm so not celebrating the c-section, but it is fun to know that officially, on March 21, unless he decides to come sooner, Israel will be in our arms! Yes, this overwhelms me. Most everything does. I've had a few people ask why we are doing a c-section. Here's a brief overview. I delivered Eden, she came out fine, and then I passed out. Didn't really happen like that, but you can read Part 1 and Part 2 of our birth story to understand what happened (if you are squeamish about blood maybe don't read it...just know it was bad). Anyway, after not being told anything by the doctors at the clinic I had been at, doing my own research, and meeting with a new doctor...I figured out that what happened to me was NOT OKAY and was pretty much caused by doctor error. By pretty much, I mean it was. However, without proof (none of this was written in my file after delivery) we don't know for sure what happened. This causes me to be a high risk. So, my dreams of delivering with a midwife and birthing completely naturally were shot. After three talks with my new doctor we all agreed that for me, the safest way to deliver this baby was through a c-section. I know the controversies, I agree they are overused, but I am staying confident in my doctor's wisdom. This will be our last pregnancy (unless God works some miracles) so we are praying that everything will go smoothly. I actually have a plan to make this feel a bit more natural despite the fact that it's a surgery. I am presenting it to my doctor at my next appointment and praying that she and the hospital will be receptive to it. We will see.

Anyway, that's enough blabbing about my little boy. Hope you enjoyed seeing a large belly on your screen ;)

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A Little More About Israel

Time for me to introduce you all to Israel. He's obviously not here yet, but I haven't had a chance to really chat about our baby boy yet. Plus I may have promised a reveal video to you all, and we may have been unable to use internet in our hotel, so I may have been harassed a few too many times for not posting it sooner....

Let me just say I have felt like the baby inside me was a boy the whole time. It was weird. I had no reason to really think it would be, but I just KNEW we were having a boy. Ironically, Josh truly believed we would have four girls. Of course when we found out it was a boy, most said (innocently I'm sure) how Josh was probably so excited to have "his boy." To us we don't see it that way. Neither of us have ever cared what our babies were. We just feel blessed to be able to have these babies and know that God had our family planned out long before we even thought about it. So, despite what people think, while we are over the moon excited that we are having a boy, we would have been overly excited to have a girl as well. We don't believe that because we have a boy and a girl we have a "perfect" family. I am sure those that have all boys or all girls certainly don't think their family isn't perfect. When we go to adopt we will not specify gender. Just as we don't have a say in who joins our family through pregnancy, we will let God decide who will join our family through adoption. Sorry, just wanted to be clear that our babies are very important to us no matter what gender :)

Seeing this boy on the ultrasound was the best feeling. With Eden we had sooooo many ultrasounds for many different reasons and this time around we haven't had any complications that require an ultrasound so we happily waited 19 weeks to see our little boy. By happily I mean we were bursting at the seams to see our baby's sweet face, but were happy that we didn't have a reason to see him sooner. Thankfully the ultrasound tech that we had was gracious and looked at the gender first thing. For Eden we had to wait until the very last minute! Josh and I both can read ultrasounds fairly well (since we had a lot of practice last time) so we knew it would be obvious to us if we were having a boy or girl. It certainly was obvious. I have no doubts that we have a little boy coming. After that ultrasound we had to prepare for our reveal video to our family. We made ourselves wait an agonizing 9 days to reveal it to the rest of the world since we were determined to announce from Disneyland. We had also picked out a pair of shoes at Nordstrom for a boy or a girl so we ran over to pick up our cute little boy Adidas (I'll have to share a photo of them...they are adorable). We quickly worked on our reveal video so we could send it off to family at 6 p.m. on the dot. It was the first video I have ever made and if you haven't heard me say so, I am quite proud of it. Without making you wait longer, here is the link to watch the video. Crossing my fingers that it works...Josh promises that it will...

WATCH ME!

We are seriously so in love with this little boy. 

Every name that we choose has to have meaning. I think that's probably true for most. It is so scary choosing a name for a baby that they will have to live with the rest of their lives. We had prayed over names and had a boy and a girl name picked out before we were pregnant (come on..you know me by now..). Let's just say, Israel was not the name we had picked. In fact, it wasn't even in the running. The story of the name is this, Josh was working one day and a little boy named Israel came in. He chatted with him and texted me saying he LOVED the name. We chatted more about it and he said he felt like it was the perfect name for our son. Um, excuse me?! We had the perfect name for our son! I liked the name, but it just wasn't what I had planned on. I prayed, hard. The answer quickly came to me...if Josh felt so confident that this was the name for our future son, then that was the name. So, our other name is now ready for another boy if God should choose to bless us with another son and I have no doubts that Israel is the perfect name for our baby.

The name Israel means "God perseveres." What a beautiful and strong name. For us, we couldn't think of a better name for our baby to carry the rest of his life. We pray that he will understand it's importance. 

His middle name was one we chose long ago. John was not only one of the twelve apostles of Jesus, but that name also belongs to Josh's grandpa. We like to choose middle names that honor a family member. Eden's honored my grandpa, while Israel's honors a grandpa of Josh's. We love the combination of the two names. 

I have so much more we could share...and one of these days when I get my computer files recovered from my old computer I'll be able to share my bump photos that we have been taking. One of these days I'll get them back...

Thank you all for your sweet words about our baby boy. We so appreciate all the excitement you all have for us! We can't wait until we can see his face...because seriously if his ultrasound photo was any indication, he is one handsome little boy. And I am obviously not biased one bit. 

Love you all!

*The DIY Surprise Lantern used in the reveal video came from the blog, Oh Happy Day. 

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